Finding Divinity in Our Marriages

I spoke during Sacrament meeting yesterday and thought it'd be nice if I posted my talk. I had this written out for a while and it went pretty much like this when I spoke, although I tried really hard not to read it :)

Good morning, Brothers and Sisters. I am glad to call you my Brothers and Sisters because it reminds me that we are all sons and daughters of God. Each one of us has been blessed with divine attributes that we have inherited from our Heavenly Father. In October’s General Women’s Conference, Sister Rosemary M. Wixom taught, “Heavenly Father generously shares a portion of his divinity within us. That divine nature comes as a gift from Him with a love that only a parent can feel. We come to this earth to nurture and discover the seeds of divine nature that are within us.” Whether we have been blessed to be diligent, virtuous, knowledgeable, temperate, patient, or kind, each of us has Christ-like qualities inherent in our personalities.

Our job in mortality is to discover those divine attributes and develop them until we become like Christ. Sister Wixom states, “The divine nature within each one of us is refined and magnified by the effort we make to draw nearer to our Father and His Son. Our divine nature has nothing to do with our personal accomplishments, the status we achieve, the number of marathons we run, or our popularity and self-esteem. Our divine nature comes from God. It was established in an existence that preceded our birth and will continue into eternity.” Only through our relationship with God can we discover, refine, and magnify our divine nature. Even when we make mistakes and deviate from our divine course, one thing will never change—we will always be children of God.

As sons and daughters of God, we have distinct and separate divine natures. As stated in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” Neither being better than the other, both men and women are created to hold separate responsibilities in life, and have been given unique divine attributes to help them fulfill those responsibilities.

I invite you to reflect on your patriarchal blessing. What Christ-like attributes are mentioned there? I’ll add another question: which of Christ’s qualities do you most admire and desire to develop? In my own patriarchal blessing, I am both blessed and encouraged to be kind and caring to others around me. One of Christ’s attributes that I admire most is His perfect charity and love for all mankind. I am most definitely not perfect in this area. In fact, I think Satan tries to tempt me a lot to be the exact opposite. And I often get discouraged and feel that I’ll never be able to have charity in my heart as many scriptures urge us to do. However, because I have recognized these attributes in my Patriarchal blessing, and knowing that I am BLESSED to have them and refine them, I have faith that as I continue to try, I will magnify the charity within myself.

As we seek for answers to questions about our divine nature, we can elicit help from our Heavenly Father. Sister Wixom instructs, “We identify with our divine nature as we feel and give the love of our Father in Heaven. We have the agency to nurture it, let it flourish, and help it grow. Peter said we are given ‘precious promises’ that we ‘might be partakers of the divine nature.’ As we understand who we are—daughters [and sons] of God—we begin to feel those precious promises. Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as His. We naturally turn to Him in prayer, and we are eager to read His words and to do His will. We are able to take our validation vertically from Him, not horizontally from the world around us or from those on Facebook or Instagram. If you ever question that spark of divinity within you, kneel in prayer and ask Heavenly Father, ‘Am I really Thy daughter [or son], and dost Thou love me?’ Elder M. Russell Ballard said, ‘One of the sweetest message the Spirit will relay is how the Lord feels about you.’” I have taken Sister Wixom’s challenge during times of struggle and doubt, and I have a sweet testimony that God loves me, and that He loves each of you as His son or daughter.

When we have gained a testimony of our divine nature, our knowledge of our divine nature should change the way we live. Sister Wixom mentions several ways our divine nature affects us, including giving us a desire to know eternal truths for ourselves, giving us a desire to serve others, and igniting our desire to reach out to others, prompting us to act. She explains, “Because you are His child, He knows who you can become. He knows your fears and your dreams. He relishes your potential. He waits for you to come to Him in prayer. Because you are His child, you not only need Him, but He also needs you. Those sitting around you right now in this meeting need you. The world needs you, and your divine nature allows you to be His trusted disciple to all His children. Once we begin to see the divinity in ourselves, we can see it in others.” We should try, brothers and sisters, with all the fervor of our hearts, to discover our own divine nature, as well as the divine nature of our spouses.

How does our knowledge of our spouse’s divine nature change the way we treat them? I wish to share a few personal experiences to answer this question.

Josh and I have found joy and respect for each other’s divinity by sharing our patriarchal blessings with each other. We try to do this often, and it has become a very sacred growing experience in our relationship. The first time I read Josh’s blessing, I thought to myself—this is the type of man I want to marry. Luckily enough, we had just barely decided we wanted to be married. I encourage you to read your patriarchal blessings together, and to look for the divine qualities your spouse has been blessed with. If you do, you will become more unified and in love.

Beyond our patriarchal blessings, the Temple has taught us endless lessons on who we were in the pre-existence, who we are now, and who we are supposed to become throughout the eternities. Reflect on your temple covenants, as well as the covenants you have made with your spouse, and let them determine how you live in your marriage every day.
When Josh and I were dating, Josh had the desire to understand how Heavenly Father felt about me. In a very special moment to him, he felt an overwhelming sense of love and reverence of who I am and who I am going to become. I have made a special effort to pray to my Heavenly Father to recognize my husband’s divine nature and to feel how Heavenly Father loves Him. This effort has paid off in the sweetest of ways. The spirit has opened my eyes to see my spouse in a new and tender light. He has shown me how special and wonderful my husband truly is. I recognize in Him Christ-like attributes, and I am swelling with gratitude to my Heavenly Father that He blessed me with such a special spirit as a partner throughout time and eternity.

I pray that each of you will pray to recognize your own and your spouse’s divine natures. Let the spirit testify to you, and let this knowledge transform the way you live. I love each of you, brothers and sisters, and I know that God loves you as well. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.