Finding Divinity in Our Marriages

I spoke during Sacrament meeting yesterday and thought it'd be nice if I posted my talk. I had this written out for a while and it went pretty much like this when I spoke, although I tried really hard not to read it :)

Good morning, Brothers and Sisters. I am glad to call you my Brothers and Sisters because it reminds me that we are all sons and daughters of God. Each one of us has been blessed with divine attributes that we have inherited from our Heavenly Father. In October’s General Women’s Conference, Sister Rosemary M. Wixom taught, “Heavenly Father generously shares a portion of his divinity within us. That divine nature comes as a gift from Him with a love that only a parent can feel. We come to this earth to nurture and discover the seeds of divine nature that are within us.” Whether we have been blessed to be diligent, virtuous, knowledgeable, temperate, patient, or kind, each of us has Christ-like qualities inherent in our personalities.

Our job in mortality is to discover those divine attributes and develop them until we become like Christ. Sister Wixom states, “The divine nature within each one of us is refined and magnified by the effort we make to draw nearer to our Father and His Son. Our divine nature has nothing to do with our personal accomplishments, the status we achieve, the number of marathons we run, or our popularity and self-esteem. Our divine nature comes from God. It was established in an existence that preceded our birth and will continue into eternity.” Only through our relationship with God can we discover, refine, and magnify our divine nature. Even when we make mistakes and deviate from our divine course, one thing will never change—we will always be children of God.

As sons and daughters of God, we have distinct and separate divine natures. As stated in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” Neither being better than the other, both men and women are created to hold separate responsibilities in life, and have been given unique divine attributes to help them fulfill those responsibilities.

I invite you to reflect on your patriarchal blessing. What Christ-like attributes are mentioned there? I’ll add another question: which of Christ’s qualities do you most admire and desire to develop? In my own patriarchal blessing, I am both blessed and encouraged to be kind and caring to others around me. One of Christ’s attributes that I admire most is His perfect charity and love for all mankind. I am most definitely not perfect in this area. In fact, I think Satan tries to tempt me a lot to be the exact opposite. And I often get discouraged and feel that I’ll never be able to have charity in my heart as many scriptures urge us to do. However, because I have recognized these attributes in my Patriarchal blessing, and knowing that I am BLESSED to have them and refine them, I have faith that as I continue to try, I will magnify the charity within myself.

As we seek for answers to questions about our divine nature, we can elicit help from our Heavenly Father. Sister Wixom instructs, “We identify with our divine nature as we feel and give the love of our Father in Heaven. We have the agency to nurture it, let it flourish, and help it grow. Peter said we are given ‘precious promises’ that we ‘might be partakers of the divine nature.’ As we understand who we are—daughters [and sons] of God—we begin to feel those precious promises. Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as His. We naturally turn to Him in prayer, and we are eager to read His words and to do His will. We are able to take our validation vertically from Him, not horizontally from the world around us or from those on Facebook or Instagram. If you ever question that spark of divinity within you, kneel in prayer and ask Heavenly Father, ‘Am I really Thy daughter [or son], and dost Thou love me?’ Elder M. Russell Ballard said, ‘One of the sweetest message the Spirit will relay is how the Lord feels about you.’” I have taken Sister Wixom’s challenge during times of struggle and doubt, and I have a sweet testimony that God loves me, and that He loves each of you as His son or daughter.

When we have gained a testimony of our divine nature, our knowledge of our divine nature should change the way we live. Sister Wixom mentions several ways our divine nature affects us, including giving us a desire to know eternal truths for ourselves, giving us a desire to serve others, and igniting our desire to reach out to others, prompting us to act. She explains, “Because you are His child, He knows who you can become. He knows your fears and your dreams. He relishes your potential. He waits for you to come to Him in prayer. Because you are His child, you not only need Him, but He also needs you. Those sitting around you right now in this meeting need you. The world needs you, and your divine nature allows you to be His trusted disciple to all His children. Once we begin to see the divinity in ourselves, we can see it in others.” We should try, brothers and sisters, with all the fervor of our hearts, to discover our own divine nature, as well as the divine nature of our spouses.

How does our knowledge of our spouse’s divine nature change the way we treat them? I wish to share a few personal experiences to answer this question.

Josh and I have found joy and respect for each other’s divinity by sharing our patriarchal blessings with each other. We try to do this often, and it has become a very sacred growing experience in our relationship. The first time I read Josh’s blessing, I thought to myself—this is the type of man I want to marry. Luckily enough, we had just barely decided we wanted to be married. I encourage you to read your patriarchal blessings together, and to look for the divine qualities your spouse has been blessed with. If you do, you will become more unified and in love.

Beyond our patriarchal blessings, the Temple has taught us endless lessons on who we were in the pre-existence, who we are now, and who we are supposed to become throughout the eternities. Reflect on your temple covenants, as well as the covenants you have made with your spouse, and let them determine how you live in your marriage every day.
When Josh and I were dating, Josh had the desire to understand how Heavenly Father felt about me. In a very special moment to him, he felt an overwhelming sense of love and reverence of who I am and who I am going to become. I have made a special effort to pray to my Heavenly Father to recognize my husband’s divine nature and to feel how Heavenly Father loves Him. This effort has paid off in the sweetest of ways. The spirit has opened my eyes to see my spouse in a new and tender light. He has shown me how special and wonderful my husband truly is. I recognize in Him Christ-like attributes, and I am swelling with gratitude to my Heavenly Father that He blessed me with such a special spirit as a partner throughout time and eternity.

I pray that each of you will pray to recognize your own and your spouse’s divine natures. Let the spirit testify to you, and let this knowledge transform the way you live. I love each of you, brothers and sisters, and I know that God loves you as well. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

True Wisdom

Gandalf, Dumbledore, Yoda, Tiresias, Merlin - all archetypal wise men of mythical and fantastic stories. Each offers advice formed out of their many years of experience. But what makes these great men wise? And how does one measure their wisdom? What is "wisdom" in the first place?

When I think of wisdom, I imagine life-shattering quotes that clarify all of my woes and show me the direction I must take to achieve an all-encompassing happiness - once I understand what in the world it means, that is. I suppose those mythical men are what I imagine when I think of a wise man. Of course, non-mythical ancient prophets come to my mind as well, and most certainly Jesus Christ. However, must wisdom only exist in aged men who have lived a full life? Do words of wisdom have to be life-shattering in order to be considered wise? I contest that wisdom comes in the form of small and simple truths, and that anyone can be wise.

Wisdom, defined by my good friend Dictionary.com, is "knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action." Wisdom, then, stems from a basic knowledge of right and wrong, which leads us to act with integrity according to what we know. This definition of wisdom makes the concept less abstract, and more specific and attainable. After all, I like to believe that I have some form of knowledge, and that I'm empowered enough to make decisions and act on them - which is also true of all people.

True Wisdom

In the scriptures, two patterns exist that give more light to the prophetic and godly definition of wisdom. The first pattern is the dichotomy of the wisdom of the world versus true wisdom, or the wisdom of God. Time and again, the scriptures mention that all things happen by God's wisdom. The phrases "by His wisdom" (Jer. 10:22, 51:15), "in His wisdom" (Mosiah 4:6; 3 Ne. 28:29, 29:1; Morm. 5:15; D&C 3:13, 76:2), and "my wisdom" (Isa. 10:13; 2 Ne. 3:19, 20:13; Helaman 15:16; 3 Ne. 21:10; D&C 10:49, 11:26, 45:10, 124:1) each refer to the greatness and accomplishments of God's own wisdom. He achieves all things according to His design because of His omnipotence and understanding of eternity. His wisdom is revered and sought after by all prophets desiring to have righteous success. 

Conversely, the scriptures condemn those who act by their own wisdom, and warn all of the dangers and foolishness of the wisdom of the world. 2 Nephi 15: 21, 24 reads, "Wo unto the wise in their own eyes and prudent in their own sight! Therefore, as the fire devoured stubble, and the flame consume the chaff, their root shall be rottenness, and their blossom shall go up as dust; because they have cast away the law of the Lord of Hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel." 2 Nephi 9:28-29 contains an additional warning filled with the same passionate language as the previous scripture. "And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, he that is built upon the rock [meaning Christ] receive it with gladness; and he that is built upon a sandy foundation trembleth lest he shall fall. Wo be unto him that shall say: We have received the word of God, and we need no more the word of God, for we have enough!" Worldy wisdom, then, is completely rejecting the truth of God's gospel and acting against it according to your own desires. Those who cling to wordly wisdom will fail and be rejected by God.

These two types of wisdom oppose each other in every way. Those of the world would have all believe that happiness and success lie in the world's wisdom. God, however, holds the key to true wisdom. His wisdom will almost always differ from the world's wisdom, which Christ explains in Isaiah 55:8, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Through His wisdom only can we obtain salvation and true happiness.

The Wisdom Cycle

The second pattern is what I am going to call The Wisdom Cycle. In the Book of Mormon, a common pattern exists that most readers of the book are familiar with--The Pride Cycle. Essentially, the people are humble and righteous, the Lord blesses them, the people begin to be prideful, they sin, God takes away their blessings, they repent and become humble again, and so on. This cycle can be found again and again in the scriptures, and I would like to demonstrate that the Wisdom Cycle is a much happier, yet just as prevalent cycle in the scriptures.

I first discovered The Wisdom Cycle when I noticed that true wisdom (or God's wisdom) is often accompanied by the understanding of absolute and eternal truths. Scriptures is Psalms and Proverbs portray this idea beautifully, and each scripture brought me a new level of understanding. I realized that wisdom, understanding, faith, action, and knowledge were all interconnected somehow, and later discerned that they were all connected in the same way.

The scriptures say:	I learned:
Psalms 49:3 "My mouth shall speak of wisdom, and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding."	Wisdom and understanding cohabitate in the body with perfect harmony.
Proverbs 4:7 "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding."	Wisdom is always accompanied by a deep sense of understanding. One cannot be wise without an understanding of knowledge in the context of God's vast wisdom.
Proverbs 3:19 "The Lord by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens."	God and Christ needed both understanding and wisdom to create heaven and earth. They employed both to achieve their purpose by enacting their understanding of how worlds are created, and their wisdom in knowing how to do it best.
Proverbs 1:2, 7 "To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding. . . The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."	Only when one has faith in God can he or she begin to gain knowledge, understanding, and wisdom.
Proverbs 8:5 "O, ye simple, understand wisdom: and, ye fools, be ye of an understanding heart."	In order to fully gain wisdom, one must have an understanding of what true wisdom is. Wisdom is understanding knowledge and truth, and acting in accordance with that understanding.
Proverbs 24:3-5 "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."	Wisdom is the act of building, understanding allows the building to start, and knowledge is the truth that edifies and enriches the house, leading to more understanding and wisdom.
Proverbs 2:2-6 "So that thou incline thy ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; yea, if thou cries after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding. If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding."	As one seeks for knowledge, he or she finds it and, if seeking in faith, gains a deeper understanding of truth. This deeper understanding causes one to act differently, and this action is considered wisdom.

(This pattern is also supported in the following scriptures: Ex. 31:3, 36:1; Duet. 4:6; 1 Kings 4:29; 1 Chron. 22:12; 2 Chron. 1:10; Job 38:36; Psalms 111:10; Prov. 3:13, 4:5, 10:13; Rom. 11:33, Col. 1:11, 2:3; 2 Ne. 21:2)

Essentially, the scriptures illustrate the following cycle: understanding leads to faith, which leads to action according to that understanding, which action develops into wisdom, or obedience to knowledge of truth, that then leads to more understanding.

Simple enough, The Wisdom Cycle can be applied not only to the scriptures, but to our own lives. Now when I ask myself "How do I measure wisdom? What makes someone wise? What is wisdom in the first place?" I have answers. Wisdom means being obedient to the truths you understand. I can measure wisdom by comparing my actions to the knowledge I have. If I am disregarding truth to act according to my own desires, I most certainly am NOT being wise. However, if I curb my appetites to live according to the truths I understand, then I AM being wise.

Be Wise
The magi who brought the young Jesus gifts are considered to be "wise men" because they understood what the sign of the star meant, they had faith that if they followed the star they would find Jesus Christ, and they then they acted on their faith and understanding. Likewise, ordinary individuals such as myself can obtain wisdom by coming to know and understand God's teachings in the scriptures, having faith that they are true, and making decisions in alignment with those truths. Even something as simple as smiling rather than yelling at the person who cut you off in traffic because Christ taught us to "love one another" is a manifestation of true wisdom. We will become wise when we do the wise thing. Wisdom is attainable, and we should do everything in our power to become wise like our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the simple and profound (and could I say wise?) words of Jacob, the younger brother of Nephi, "O be wise, what can I say more?"